https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences daily 0.75 2022-10-02 https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/not-all-glit-and-glam monthly 0.5 2022-10-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1664753992824-LYFUD0NPUUUTBEQ4U8WB/26.+Not+all+Glit+%26+Glam.JPG The Experiences - Not all Glit &amp; Glam Some might fawn or say yikes! Some say, “It’s all for the likes” But how do you know..? Why so holier-than-thou? Wake up from the narrative See past all the glit and glam Know that everybody says damn! That can come as a bolt out of the blue “They look so happy, it can’t be true!” Or can bring a sly smile for a few “Of course, they do. I knew.” But most often than not, that’ll pacify you. It’ll give a sense of relief A contentment Confidence “Ah..life is not so bad after all” Humans. But when the damns erupt and hurt People throw dirt “See I told you” “I knew it all along” “They are so fake” No… they are not. They did get that job and make that cutey bub They did go on that vacation and to that pub That party, that meet up, that move abroad The beautiful thing that is their dog All of that did happen. But still…that’s not all that happened. What’s fake are not those stories or posts But the imposed perception, that is the hoax That’s how socials work, though Making you feel less By inflating others’ worthiness But your worth does not depend on another Or have you thrown that down the gutter? But, for serious… Know this…it’s not all just glit and glam. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-forced-hierarchy monthly 0.5 2022-08-30 https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/anywhere-but-here monthly 0.5 2022-08-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1660060491665-0TIWP0GSO04H3XZ3RIBJ/24.+Anywhere+but+here+-+Qualiaura.png The Experiences - Anywhere but Here Why think about something else, Just when focus is due? Endless things to do, Even as I finish one. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why seek other temptations, Just when savoring this taste? Endless sensations to thrill, Even as I enjoy one. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why speed towards urgencies, Just when steadiness is the need? Endless race to a different place, Even as I near one finish line. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why mess with another device, Just when one has me hooked? Endless beeps and pings, Even as I mute a few. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why mitigate imaginary pains, Just when conquering the real one? Endless twisting and turning, Even as I sit still. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why crave infinite pleasures, Just when the current one would do? Endless boats of hedonism to jump to, Even as I float on one. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why peek at the buffet spread, Just when my plate is full? Endless dishes and desserts, Even as the stomach cries full. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why seek another's, Just when our own will do? Endless Fear Of Missing Out Even as I have enough to call my own. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why worry about the past, Just when it cannot be changed. Endless wish for how it should have been, Even as it is a done deal. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Why build future plans, Just when the moment is fleeting. Endless castles in the air, Even when the foundation is crumbling. The mind leaps. And it soars. Nowhere near. Anywhere but here. Being present will do. Just being in the present will do. Endless things the present offers, Endless presents it offers. The mind calms. Finds its peace. Dear and near. Nowhere but here. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-antibigotry-radar monthly 0.5 2022-08-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1659341080364-MX54I1AM17P611RAXFYK/23.+The+Antibigotry+Radar.jpg The Experiences - The Antibigotry Radar - Now for a closer-to-home example - a proud secular state that reeks of casteism. Right from the choice of partner and schooling…all the way to town planning, resource allocation, and of course, sexual assault. “Comparatively, our state is better off.” Sure, but that does not mean casteism does not exist here. That does not mean the trauma of the victims is any less real. That does not mean you can ignore what’s home while condemning what’s beyond your area of influence. You are being a hypocrite. And resting deep within are fragments of bigotry that thoughtlessly reassemble every time you mock and neglect. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-land-so-barren monthly 0.5 2022-07-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1658805622660-M3GUFSTENC8M89C6RQIR/22.+Land+So+Barren+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - The Land so Barren I have always wondered why a soldier chooses to be one. The hardships that come along with it are beyond my understanding. I have respect for them, but I don’t understand them. And patriotism, nationalism? I don’t think there is anything in this world that is capable enough to reignite that fire in me. More accurately, there are no embers left in there to rekindle. Too much blood has been shed. Too many lives destroyed. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/letting-go-with-time monthly 0.5 2022-07-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1658121881039-R3D8EVUEXRLVI4SL3G93/Letting+Go+With+Time+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Letting go… with time - Today I am in a similar predicament - scared and waiting on the side, away from all the fun. I want to drive so that I can go places without having to depend on others. A relative even offered to teach me but I always deferred. I am scared. I am being pushed a lot and I beat back with twice the force. All the defensive dialogues I formulate in my head as I gear up for retaliation have just brought more clarity on why I hate driving. It’s simple - “I don’t trust the Kerala roads or the people behind the wheels. This is a no-rule place and I can’t rely on the law. I’ll drive in a place where I feel safe.” Nobody counters that and I win, for that moment. But I want to learn, I want to drive. But I am scared, but for how long? So I better learn to drive. But… And so we move on…going in circles with a lot of buts to circumnavigate. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/what-is-your-age monthly 0.5 2022-07-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1657093041027-H6SQK7L69O5NYZ8O2NH3/19.+What%27s+your+age+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - What is your age? - So, Earthling…tell me - what is your age? Me: 32 years if you want to know whether I can “legally” drink, smoke, drive or hump all day. Also me: 17 years if you dare come to me with the dont-you-wanna-be-a-mom thing! More of me: 83 years if you challenge me to skip my dinner and/or bedtime! Also more of me: 20 years if you put on some karaoke, set up a dance floor, and bring in more 20-year-olds! And finally, me again: Why the scamper, Earthling? What happened to simply growing old? https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-one-constant monthly 0.5 2022-07-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1657167987185-73O1QR0MCCDDOC8ULS3R/20.+The+One+Constant.jpg The Experiences - The One Constant Seeing somebody after a long time I forget several details The face, the smile The voice, the tone The hold, the hug Can’t even sketch I draw a blank But there is one thing I remember How they made me feel It might have been 2 years It might have been 10 years But what I felt…that sticks So how do I go about this? I can greet or I can shun Greet, if you felt good back then Greet, if you felt awful back then Shun all else For you not know them now For they are not an Invariant For there is only one that is constant Change. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-right-to-complain monthly 0.5 2022-07-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1656652590396-QS7YFJ22QI2L8KCEVQKY/RightToComplain.jpg The Experiences - The Right to Complain - I agree, the inconvenience is real But only when the right is invoked thoughtlessly. For when hot water is served instead of cold Or when the child or pet next door creates an uproar All you need is patience. You don’t need to complain then. But the irritant pain is a shame when one is expected to be a comfort, A witness to the unfairness and A medium to soothe the traumatic wound. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/why-the-beginning monthly 0.5 2022-06-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1656328533596-KL64E84FTWP11G79CGEQ/Why+the+Beginning+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Why the Beginning? Why is religion shrouded in promulgating that we were “created”? Why are scientists keen to prove that the Big Bang actually happened? Why is “how was this world created”, “where do we come from” a topic of concern? Why do you want to know the origin of life? Neither the Creationists nor the Evolutionists can definitively prove their respective theories. So why fixate on this topic? https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/home monthly 0.5 2022-06-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1655786758739-J9CXTHLOKO0C8UOW4LAJ/Home+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Home Home is where a hug can let the worst go Where you can kiss and they will know Home is where your tantrums are seen And not blamed on the menses Where your quirkiness is accepted, Your feelings, acknowledged and Love, expressed…fearlessly https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/mental-wellbeing-and-the-divine-being monthly 0.5 2022-06-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1655269033923-FNAMG32A0F20JDCFPA2N/Mental+Wellbeing+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Mental Wellbeing &amp; The Divine Being - That’s the power of God. That’s the power of religion. I believe that the otherworldly clean and pristine Ggod does not exist in our realm. Maybe that’s why we are tempted to reach out because Ggod exists in an oh-so-perfect realm far away from our excruciating reality. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/multiversism monthly 0.5 2022-06-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1655090405993-N3IFI2ZD5YIMEFXC24MN/Multiversism+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Multiversism - Nurture the blind faith…you know. Add another religion to the never-ending list - a chronicle of imagined hypotheses that can obscure the very existence of an individual, in whatever form they come in, while all that is left for us to cherish is the natural world. So, should we start a new movement here? The million-dollar question. Quite literally. Religion is money, my friend. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-multiverse monthly 0.5 2022-06-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1654751129406-AMAWX9R9GBS80QGJ7JQQ/Multiverse++%281%29.jpg The Experiences - The Multiverse - I’d like to be optimistic, though, and focus on the encouraging part that somewhere out there a me already did what I want to do right now. There are infinite possibilities in the multiverse. I can be anything! The here-me, jotting this down, happened to fall into one universe. There is probably a well-accomplished prolific writer-me in another universe. That can make the here-me feel one of two things - either more driven knowing that a me achieved something here-me wants, or sad and jealous questioning why here-me was born here and not there. I don’t know which way I’d go. I can’t come to terms with the idea of another me. Wow…never thought I’d ever say this, but now I understand how disoriented Blake Crouch’s Jason would have felt. (I guess…?) https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-silence-boss monthly 0.5 2022-06-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1654489531637-9FF1Z2PIB840BGDDGJUW/Silence+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - The Silence Boss - You are the top dog if you decide when the ideal spread of silence should end. You are the boss if you choose to give your peers the chance to speak, take the risk to speak first, and care enough to not make things awkward for everybody present. And as you say your piece, the group will go through an awakening (pun intended) they would have probably gone through a hundred times already. Thanks to the celestial aura of nurture tacitly created by you. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-ones-who-have-it-tougher monthly 0.5 2022-05-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653485322107-O3KYRTZZVVXNLXGRW12R/Tougher+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - The ones who have it Tough…er - But some have to do more than just that. They have to be accommodating and accepting of others’ wrongs. I am sure everybody has had to do that at least once in their life…be accepting of others’ mistakes and understand why they did what they did. But there are groups of people who feel the brunt more. They have a tag that sets them apart, one that either sticks on from birth or catches on at a particular phase in life. Case in point: A random person asked my partner-by-law where he married and brought me in from (He asked in Malayalam: evidena kettikondu vane?) I understood why he said what he said. He simply meant to ask where I am from. But that question reeks of deep-rooted sexism, the kind that is difficult to change and the kind I have to bear because I am a wife, married “into” a family. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/collective-happiness monthly 0.5 2022-05-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653056389331-ZNLKWNDUP15HO058MFO1/IMG-20220518-WA0026.jpg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653056424470-4GX44H9WU47PKKLJTVQI/IMG-20220518-WA0023.jpg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653056485732-8HUN3KWVA1Z5U9CV23HG/9E2B659E-3A2F-4647-9E90-016A6598D8C8.jpeg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653057283373-45FW4MU663V89TZDAP2B/af4a4b2d-c914-453e-9166-4a74a15fae56.jpeg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653056353397-ML2XIRC8TQS9GEFYZ9YA/imgonline-com-ua-blur-radial-2VG6gfWzxo.jpg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653057247609-3D1IIZSJK3G8DT9G4ZYR/IMG_1007.jpg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653057311656-V5KE5FLJC1PQ6CSU7628/496A7376-F5CD-4944-A3C5-85384E28F3A4.jpeg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653056532090-PIHXAWSNAYRWCAIS2O78/409914AD-8170-4A94-ABB3-7FCC02EEF50E.jpeg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1653057264814-PRVSBQRTYY757VKYBMH1/4eff11e9-63c8-44c4-94b5-1c271ddbaefe.jpeg The Experiences - Collective Happiness https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-inevitable-end monthly 0.5 2022-05-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1652101199492-21V2WJ66KT358DVA5Q6R/Big+Bang+-Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - The Inevitable End Today, the world is frantically working to achieve unbridled goals for a glossy future. These goals range from creating personalized medicines that match human DNA to manufacturing 3D-printed homes to be laid on Mars when we finally colonize it. These newfound technologies we never asked for will change the fabric of our society as we know it. Figuring out the intricacies to ethically and legally integrate them into our reality is a conundrum on its own. For all the climate change mitigation efforts we fail to undertake, humans are scared of “not making it” - both at an individual and collective level. We are worriedly investing in a future we fake confidence in because it is a future whose uncertainty we deny. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/feeling-everything monthly 0.5 2022-05-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1652116198501-5SIRCPS5A3SOBSLB99FI/Feeling+Everything+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Feeling Everything P.S: I was told that the kind of meditation I am talking about here is called Mindfulness Meditation and that there is an aspect called Equanimity that should come along with Mindfulness. Equanimity is “a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind.” Probably should let my artist in on this one. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/us-and-them monthly 0.5 2022-05-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1652098901723-9W83S6KRD484O9EOMG6L/Us+and+Them+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Us and Them - When the CAA issue happened in India and a celebrity was asked about his views regarding the issue, he brushed it off saying that he needs to study it first. He faced massive criticism for not speaking up. The collectivistic society in this case expected him to put aside his individualistic concerns (protecting his career and family, for instance) and speak up. The case is no different in the west. The US, an individualistic liberal democracy, is embroiled in several issues - gun laws, critical race theory, reproductive rights, transgender rights in sports, vaccine mandates, mask mandates, and so on. These issues can change the fabric of society as it gets so polarising that people are expected to choose sides. People in such individualistic societies are developing very strong individualistic ideals that they campaign for the collectivistic adoption of these ideals. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/just-keep-at-it monthly 0.5 2022-05-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1651731190035-0OOO4069HJKCLAW7MZVK/Tibetan+Singing+Bowl+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Just Keep at It - The bowl comes with a mallet that has to be tapped on the rim of the bowl to kickstart the ringing and then pressed and moved in a circular motion along the rim to keep the sound going. Mine is a small bowl and the internet tells me that it can produce a sustained high-pitched ringing for about 30 seconds. I could manage about 15-20 seconds. A tap on the rim in the middle of the process can help. Sometimes I start off really well and attain the high-pitched ringing as soon as I start. The ones I get right at the first tap…those are clear winners! I have to, of course, keep at it and continue the circular motion to sustain the ringing. That consistent movement of my arms to keep the ringing going…well, that’s not the consistency that caught me by surprise. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-menace monthly 0.5 2022-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1651379487622-574LBWRNLMTRXY7LLYCL/Menacing+Mosquito+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - The Menace! - Hmm..interesting and unsettling. So you are saying that the clap/slap does work in some way. But you are also saying that, at a time, there is not just one but several of these hooligans out to get me?! That the one I just shooed away from my arm is not the same as the one biting my ankle right now? And here is another one - there is an invasive species of mosquitoes that have evolved “a taste for humans” and “prefer the human odor” over other animals. Ouch! <<Now there’s one on my thighs!>> The menace! So…Evolution, let me ask you… Why you do this? There are too many of them and too few of us. This is not how you are supposed to work! I don’t want to scamper around for eternity with flailing arms. At least do something about the woofers. Please. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/being-comfortable-with-discomfort monthly 0.5 2022-05-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1651258245400-M9KH3TETI934LTSM6B2E/Discomfort+-+Qualiaura.jpg The Experiences - Being Comfortable with Discomfort Talking about my injuries: I have been riddled by too many to count. My patchy knees are a testament to my ineptitude at walking, jumping, running, climbing, cycling, riding, and whatnot. You know the natural instinct we humans are supposed to have when it comes to movement… yeah, I don’t have that. But, for the 80kms I walked in my last trek, I fell down only once and there was hardly any bruise. Nobody caught me in time to prevent the fall, but that day I landed like a pro. I owe it to my body and the work it has been put through to gain that kind of stability on a descent dampened by a downpour. Maybe I am physically better off now or maybe I was just confident of having my safety net by my side (the partner by law!). Guess I’ll find out soon. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-shielded-amp-their-few monthly 0.5 2022-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1651734326071-M567FZFWZPWE594W7EZ2/Wakandan+Shield+Straight+w+cloud+w+bg.jpg The Experiences - The Shielded &amp; Their Few The Few have the ability to disarm the Shielded, The kind the Shielded has not given other souls the permission to. The Few can bring out the concealed traits, The kind the Shielded intentionally locked away. The fiercest can be gentle, The timid can be assertive. With the Few, the Shielded are most human, The Shielded aren’t judged, The Shielded can simply be. And most often than not, Neither are aware of this bond. So know this. If your shield is on the line with a few, That’s your safe space to spew; And if you are one of the few, Don’t stew. We need you. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/abstract-comparative-adjectives monthly 0.5 2022-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1651734242904-Q2ZPCX5W7QR9202I3E7Z/Howard+original+w+bg.jpg The Experiences - Abstract Comparative Adjectives Let us take the Big Bang Theory, for example. Who is your favorite character? Here is what I would say: Howard. People have gaped at me and some with disgust when I say that. But let me explain: if you are looking for the character who underwent the biggest transformation, for the better - it is Howard. And the actor beautifully carried it through. Howard went from being this obnoxious and pervert weirdo to simply a weirdo who relentlessly loves his family and exhibits emotions we never expected of the Howard from the earlier seasons. If you are asking for the character who surprised me with their zany personality - it is Amy. It is Sheldon if you like quirky predictable characters whose arguments make you roll on the floor laughing. But then again, you might not agree with any of the above. It is my perspective. https://www.qualiaura.com/the-experiences/the-forlorn-fight-against-sexism monthly 0.5 2022-10-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1651734091127-VFCI8LAHC90RIX1KHHOI/Koshy+Redrawn+w+bg.jpg The Experiences - The Forlorn Fight against Sexism - The negative connotation associated with feminism - that it is the devil set out to deteriorate our culture - is probably the reason why people are averse to seeing being debased as ill-treatment. Their ability to control and be comfortable with familiar episodes of humiliation is probably why they are not ready to act. The world is slowly changing though. People are more aware of their words and actions, and sexism will slowly become intolerable. Slowly…at a snail’s pace, and I can’t stress that enough. But what would you do if the unwilling-to-accept and unready-to-act victims are your dearests? https://www.qualiaura.com/the-why daily 0.75 2022-04-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/626237458dfd00766f3639fd/1650612436187-3JRNQ0K8LQ79ZR6LCJ36/D925E608-FCF1-45F9-A1C6-0642F6B58240_1_105_c.jpeg The Why - Hi there! I’m Ashly Welcome to Qualiaura! I created this space to make public my writings on soul-stirring introspections and rib-tickling opinions. I am pretty funny, in case you missed the rib-tickling cue. And I am heavily expressive. Wait for it! I tried out writing in an effort to bring clarity to my observations about every experience. It helps me connect with my emotions and brings them to the surface to be analyzed and reflected upon. My thoughts were in disarray and I am slowly straightening out the entanglements, one word at a time. I never knew, but apparently, I love to write and it works wonders for me helping me closely observe every experience and thus understand how I feel about them. So why go public? The primary reason is pretty basic - I need a drive, an external stimulus that can keep tabs on me (counting on you!). The more profound reason is that I want to share because these are very basic human observations that usually get an ‘oh yeah!’, the ones that have tiptoed around your head in a haze and left to be contemplated on for later. With Qualiaura, as I document my experiences, I hope to inspire you to “feel” and connect with your emotions creating a state of qualia. You can introspect every experience, thus blurring the line between what you think you feel and what you actually feel. Words have the ability to bring forth the simplest meanings of our observations. And I’m here to give that a shot. Besides, remember the rib-tickling part? We all need that. Ironically, the very platform I am going public on is probably the one place I shouldn’t be in in the name of mental wellbeing. We can’t help it, but the internet is murky with an overcast of negative energy that can strike you and make you feel exposed. But I am ready for lift-off, hoping the clouds clear up on the way. 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